HAPPYHEARTAZA: 2010

my masterpiece!

It's holiday!

ya! siapa tak nak cuti kan? so habis saja prepare plan for 2011-time table, teachers-subjects-classes-homerooms-bla bla bla- ...so..melepak...as usual..first thing in my mind..beaches and jungles. this is what i called 'back to nature'. well , i m naturalist!!! huahuahua...

but this time, ada bezanya..Beza? I decided to find out my 'hidden talent' or rather one of my multiple intelligences ,that is 'spatial-visual'-drawing, interpretation and creation of visual images! Instead of taking photo with my digital camera, i used art block , crayon and BUNCHO!! I DONT CARE IF PPL GONNA SAY " macam lukisan budak sekolah rendah je!.." Its ok coz my dad said,

" hmm..kalau hantar masuk pertandingan melukis menang ni..kategori sekolah rendah!".

Dang!!!...I know i cant draw..but as dad said to me " kalau dah selalu lukis nanti cantik lah ..boleh jual..yang pentingnya buat je apa Adik yang suka".

SERIOUSLY, I dont know how to draw!!!

so, yeah, all my 'MASTERPIECES' - adalah menggambarkan tempat-tempat yang dikunjungi...hutan gunung angsi, kuala pilah. pulau pangkor dan kampung kawan I , kg. senaling.

ni la..kampung kawan... ada sawah.. ada nampak macam sawah ke? Ini guna crayon..

Ini masa jungle trekking gunung angsi. beautiful plants!

Pulau Pangkor in the morning...

This is ....err..I dont know...

Ini pun...imagination.

my workplace!

missing you..'Hershey's'!!!

know what? I really ..REALLY ...impressed with my drawings! perasan betul!

but really...seriously...I never knew..i can draw..coz I TRY!!!

actually...

what i m gonna tell you, whoever la...,

-find and build up your hidden talent..search within yourself. Never say 'No', or ' i cant do it'

or 'it's IMPOSIBLE'

coz you can change that to

' I M POSSIBLE'!!

IF I TRY!!

&&&*****&&&****

happyheartaza

If you have a little FAITH in me, that's enough.

If it's LOVE for me , thank you.

If there is trust, there is HOPE.

&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&

so what's wrong of being single?

i choose to remain single and i m happy with my life

wait...i m single
but

NOT AVAILABLE!

well, i have family; parents, brothers, sisters and friends who love me

who are always there for me

i never feel alone.

yes.sometime when i went to the mall, and bumped into some people and they like
" seorang saja? mana dia. bla.bla"

so what? sometimes i need to be alone especially to bookstore.
I can spend hours in Kino or Times or MPH to find books.
so i dont want my friends to wait for me or following me and bla.bla.bla...that make me go...

ARGHHHH!!!

what is the most irritating for single ladies?

mulut orang tak boleh ditutup! fitnah merata-rata.

haiz...

pakai 'cantik' sikit, kata nak cari lelaki

bercakap dengan makhluk yang dipanggil 'LELAKI', kata nak buat suami ,

PUH-LEASE!!
hah..mulalah ..ada mulut gatal nak mengumpat

alamak, I cakap dengan budak sekolah pun kata " haaa..flirting !!!"

H.E.L.L.o!!!!

so..dulu I marah but now ..

I assume that this kind of people have no brain.

ok. SMALL MIND!

but i m lucky to have someone ( did I mention i m single but not available ?)

who really understand me. I know him for years. someone i can turn to. rely on.
the ONLY reason why I cannot get SO CLOSE ( if you can understand what i meant ) to him
is ....ARE...

he already has someone else!
no.no. I aint a 'snatcher'! NO.

plus...he's not muslim..
( Andrew is history but i m trapped in the same situation! )

It's ok. I'm happy with it. just a platonic friend.

I prefer that way but i dont know until when...its already four years!

On and Off.... Off and On.........Off? ...On.

*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*

yes. i believe in myself. As a muslim ( i consider myself as a GOOD muslim! )
I cant say that I dont believe in marriage coz thats against
the Islamic teaching.

but based on the report recently, ( 6th Dec )

there are more than 27,000 couples divorced this year !!!
THOUSANDS!!!

wait, muslims only! means the figure DEFINITELY bigger ,

MORE,

if include the non-muslim couples!
Scary right?

so for that, I DONT believe in myself, marriage, i meant.
I might be in that statistic!
why?
i'm stubborn.ego.hard-headed.heartless.cold-blooded.
( well. I salute my friends, guy friends, who can tahan with my attitude!)

grandma: kenapa tak nak kahwin? ada orang ajak kawin, lari ..!!

me: boleh , tapi lepas dua minggu, see my face in newspaper..tajuk utama
" isteri belasah suami" !!!

.................... hahaha.................

I like this "Bitchology". Different from that kind of B**ch.
(that bad , cruel, nasty meaning !! STOP IT , PLEASE!)

sick. yes.i think i m already sick with some people.
sick because they are PRETENDERS.
they nice to me but
at the same time...

use me ...KIASUS

talking behind my back...BACKSTABBERS

not telling the truth...LIARS

TWO FACES!

********************

********************************************
come to me with your heart opened.
i dont ask for more
just honesty.

***********************

************************

happyheartaza

( this poem taken from The Star, 3rd Dec 2010 )
Why English is so hard.

We’ll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn’t the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!
Let’s face it – English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren’t invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,
boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother’s not Mop?
- Anonymous

I was having my breakfast and saw this article. funny , esp the last line, but it's true. for me. because i had ( or still having this) difficulties of learning languageS! Yes, LANGUAGES! I'm suck in both Malay and English Languages. yes. I m Malay ( with Chinese blood-father's side , according to my mom! ), but that doesnt mean I m good in BM. Bahasa Melayu saya tunggang-langgang! saya boleh bercakap BM tapi 'broken BM( as well as broken English)!' -Imagine this, ok, bayangkan, bila kawan-kawan saya , guru-guru BM, membincangkan pasal BM , saya seperti 'hilang' , bukan sebab tak faham tapi , haiz, their standard! and there is a BM teacher , Cikgu Rahim, fuh! superb! hahaha..saya ambil masa untuk 'absorb' apa yang dia cakap! kadang-kadang bila masa invigilation peperiksaan BM, saya curi-curi baca karangan pelajar saya . God! I cursed myself, their karangan much, MUCH BETTER than mine. they use bombastic ( for me ) words, some which I dont even know the meaning , and worst, words that I thought dont EXIST AT ALL! lagi satu , peribahasa or simpulan bahasa, sure I kantoi!!!So , as usual, back to my staffroom, cari guru BM , Anelyza or Salina, like ,
" Salina, ada ke perkataan " TUNTAS". apa maksud? " . and, mereka , akan terangkan maksud dengan panjang lebar. Oh! Need I tell you, I failed, yes, FAILED my BM, when I was in form 4! ? sebab?
" karangan awak sudah keluar tajuk. dan tatabahasa awak..teruk! lagi satu, bahasa awak terlalu ringkas.Awak faham ke apa saya kata?" , Itulah yang cikgu BM saya kata, Cikgu Saadiah. Sarcastic! hahaha...tapi malu jugalah sebab kawan-kawan I yang bangsa Cina pun dapat markah yang lebih baik dari I. Chow Lap Yen, Chin Fan and Poh Kin... I salute you!! haha.
but one of my few malay friends , Areen, said " aza melayu yang tak macam melayu..!!!"

So what about English? sama saja. All about tenses, vocabs, gerunds, tapi I tak pernah GAGAL!! NEVER ok!

Wait! since I'm talking about my 'pathetic' languages, i must include my chinese language.
haha.I used to learn and used to speak Cantonese , as i said before, growing up, surrounded by Chinese friends.Yes, I learnt Mandarin too. No. not from my Chinese friends but from my sister who took Mandarin classes. Not good, but , yeah. boleh faham! but Cantonese better than Mandarin.That was years ago. I found my Cantonese skills " more pathetic", "deteriorating" and "dead" after I started working-joint MCKL. NO ONE SPEAKS CANTONESE!!! Now? Hardly understand Cantonese..let alone Mandarin. ( except the BAD words! I still use some to swear and curse people !!!)

So ,
Conclusion? Tuntas? 结论?

As long as people can understand what I'm saying, itu sudah sangat baik bagi saya. mingbai?

Love, Sayang, 爱

happyheartaza

...A world where you and I belong, where faith and love will keep us strong,exactly who we are is just enough. there’s a place for us. ♥...

Have faith in me , Dear,

coz I do have faith in you.

I'm sorry.

happyheartaza

Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before.

luv,
happyheartaza

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST.

SEIZE THE DAY

cherish every moment.

be HAPPY.

and,
if you think there's no one there for you

THINK of GOD.

ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU.

Life is God's gift to you.

the way you live it is your gift to God.

happy birthday, happyheart!

happyheartaza

to all my students, 5L, 5C and 5P ..all form 5 of WMS,

Wishing you all the best in your SPM. No worries.

Beloved 5L.

Look at their happy faces. No matter how harsh I scold them, ( I scold because I CARE! ) or how bad the day was because of other people, at the end of day, they are the ones that bring back the smiles and laughters. Gonna miss them. sob. sob.

love ya!

(Do i have the photo of all F5 so that i can upload here? DONT HAVE? dang!!!)

happyheartaza

" mom dignosed..confirmed. cancer, liver...stage four...", Liza was crying when she told me about my aunt. Ya Allah, what's happening?

" are you sure? may be got mistake.." , i asked, hoping that what i heard was not true. Cancer? Stage four?

" Dr. Lee told us just now..."

God! why suddenly stage four? not one or two? She's always happy, healthy, like nothing that shows she is suffering . My aunt , my mom's younger sister is a caring and loving aunt. She treats us , nieces and nephews, like her own children.

KL to PJ , to her house, normally take less than 15 minutes but i feel like hours. traffic was clear. still ...like hours.

the moment i saw her, i couldnt believe. pale.weak.

" jangan menangis...insyaAllah tak apa " she said, holding my hand. and my tears dropped.

hard to accept this. but, as Dr Lee said, " Let's give her our best, love and pray"

happyheartaza

"politic is dirty!" said a friend of mine.
" aza, i thought you like or last time you said you wanna join politics?" she continued.
I just kept quiet. No, was enjoying my subway.
"what happen? "
" its not only dirty but scary! "
" so?..now you're not interested?"
yeah, my friends know that i have ( had?)interest in joining 'politics'.
but now,no coz its really dirty compared to last time. Dirtier, than one can imagine.
I notice that majority those who join politics have their own agenda. opportunist. cronies.backstabing. what else? service for the rakyat? only some i can tell you who are really work for rakyat. but few of this 'some' no more in politics but still , spending their time and even money to help the people. who? who else la...Dr M and Tan Sri LeeLam Thye. I really admire ( err ..LOVE for Dr M, yes I'm DEEPLY in love with him!!!) them. true politicians.true leaders.

the rest? ermmm....idk!

************************

Trust is like a paper. Once crumpled, it wont be perfect!

***********************

It's easier said than done!

after what happened in the past few months and LATELY, i think its better for me to keep quiet. I thought if i voiced out, things will get better, but NOT, getting worse. so, I better keep it to myself.

I m talking CRAP again!

one more week for holidays...cant wait. already in holiday mood.

happyheartaza

For months, i've been searching the meaning of 'trust' or i prefered 'faith' in his eyes. why? all because of , i called her ,'ladybug'. why? everything that she said or told me about him like so real. she said he 'hates' me.
He hates me? thats one of the question or 'statement' that stuck im my head for months. in fact until now. but still i put on smile on my face or be nice to him , act like normal everytime we see each other. but he didnt or wouldnt know that i was crying inside. suffering. i did ask him or told him about what ladybug told me. he denied but didnt convince me that he didnt say all that.and action speaks louder than word. one day, we went out together with our friends. So? I shouldnt go. seriously. if i knew , i wont go.i was hurt. badly. by the way he treated me. Ladybug was true. and the scar remain.still there! but , somehow he still nice to me. ladybug kept telling me about him. what he said about me. not a nice thing. again i hurt. it's on and off. i wanted to scream to both of them "what do you want from me?". feel weak.
we talked about this, trying to find the answer. it's unsolved. but one thing for sure . I killed ladybug.my faith in him? trying my best to re-build. I just want him to be more honest. open. comfortable with me as much as i feel comfortable whenever with him. . if cant, tell me . i'll go. i want happiness. It's all up to him.

only God knows how i feel inside.

happyheartaza

what a rainy ending for a perfect day...

if i care for someone.means i really care. but dont misjudge or misunderstand me. if i care and there's love for you , then that it is my 'problem'. i never or wont ask you to do the same. but just dont hurt me. talk to me. coz i dont like to hear it from others. be honest to me. n please dont just deny it and hoping that everything will be fine. it doesnt /wont work , baby. sooner or later, I'll know the truth. but, by the time you know how much i care for you, maybe its too late. I wont look back. I seek happiness. I just wanna be with those whom i can share my happiness.
when was the last time we shared our moment , happily ? idk.

happyheartaza

I was really geram at someone today ( 28.10.10 ). why?
because one moron so stubborn , didnt want to admit her mistakes.VERY GLARING MISTAKE! its ok if she didnt want to admit but to fire me back because i reported it, was too much...TOOO MUCH! when I'm really angry* i wont become incredible hulk* but one of this two things will happen;
1. I ll cry- coz DAMN angry.
2. PUNCH that person.

you choose!

happyheartaza

CONVOCATION!!!

Alhamdullillah...finally graduated in Science and Computer with Education ( Mathematics )- First Class Honours!!! ... got Dean's Award! and UTM award! ..didnt expect I will get all this when i decided to do second degree! but ..yeah..i tthink my brain only works with numbers or LOGIC! well, pease dont talk about my first degree. its not that i regret about it ..but..wrong course..didnt suit me! seriously...

congratulation!!!

Medal for Dean's Award : with CPA 3. 87 !!!

all the awards: UTM Award throphy, Dean's Award medal, certificates n the RM 500 mock cheque! ( yay got money! )

Dewan Konvo Dewan Sultan Iskandar, Uni Teknologi Malaysia.

with friends : aishah, yati n sabiah

happyheartaza

Aidil Fitri

raya tahun ini terasa kekurangan. kerana ketiadaan abang ipar , abang amran yang telah pergi menemui Ilahi pada april lalu. selepas sembahyang raya, kami mengunjungi pusara abang. sedihnya. titis airmata membasahi pipi sambil membaca surah yassin. semoga roh abang dicucuri rahmatNya dan ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman.

apa pun raya tetap meriah dengan kunjungan saudara, sahabat dan jiran. malam raya selepas solat Isya' , DAM DAM...mercun time!!!( tak sedar diri la ). tak kisahlah walaupun mercun diharamkan, black market ada!! haha...

ni gambar adik ambilkan...

"ok fire!!!" Along zali mula membakar mercun. walao eh...so loud!!! Dam..bomb!!! bila dah satu kampung main mercun dengan bunyi yang kuat, rasa macam perang pulak. berlawan-lawan bunyi paling kuat. " lets attack Maxis tower! " , pemancar Maxis yang kurang dari 100 m ( tak tau la macamana boleh bina stesen pemancar begitu dekat dengan rumah ) terus jadi mangsa serangan mercun kami!! but the best part- bila bakar bunga api yang ada 30 das! macam sambut tahun baru!! pagi -pagi raya pun bakar mercun...cebisan kertas merah bertabur depan pintu rumah..." jangan sapu ...cantik ...ada ong " la dah macam CNY la pulak! who care! 1malaysia maa...

ni la...tak sapu sampai petang.... CNY!!!

walaupun meriah tapi penat...so tiring...tetamu datang silih berganti. hari raya bagi kami adalah hari berkumpul keluarga kami termasuk pakcik makcik sepupu cucu cicit!. family gathering penuh rumah. rumah kami jadi tempat berkumpul kerana nenek tinggal dengan kami dan emak anak perempuan sulung. so memang setiap tahun rumah kami akan jadi sibuk, bising, kecoh, meriah ...SERONOK!!! siapa yang untung? ting ting ting uncle jual aiskrim!!! ye lah.. pukul 11 je uncle ni dah tunggu depan gate rumah!!!

Angpau? haha I mesti dapat...sepatutnya tak boleh dapat dah ..tapi abah bagi, abang bagi, kakak bagi , adik I pun bagi...pakcik makcik pun bagi...so ambil je lah..ye lah I cikgu je... hahaha...

happyheartaza

it's not easy to be me.seriously. i'm always HAPPY with myself. with everything that God gives me. happy with my loving family. mum, dad,brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews.friends.work.lover(s??? haha..)

but there are people who are not happy to see me happy! what's their problem?
hello...get a life people!

happyheartaza

Ramadhan datang lagi. bulan puasa yang ditunggu oleh semua umat Islam. bulan suci .
aiyo..everyone knows that la...

Loves Allah and He loves you. Always. very simple. I always got gastric...must eat every two hours but coz of ramadhan, I want to puasa . and I dont get gastric! miracle? no coz I love Allah and i do it solely coz of Him. and I know He loves me....

This time I hope it would be better than last year..physically, emotionally and spiritually!
Really? yes coz this year i finished my part time degree ( crazy thing!!!!) so got time to go to the mosque. pray a lot. special prayer only during ramadhan. seek for His blessing. His loves. His forgiveness. be more grateful for everything that He gives me.

eh ..that day after form one entrance exam in school , I went to pavilion with ...who else ..Apple-who-loves-Pav! I found the book about the meaning of names. So read this book and found my name. it's a hebrew name! and the meaning : " A GOD'S GIFT"! No wonder i cant find my name in malay/ muslim.! but i love the meaning. so now you know why my email name is ' gifted'!

happyheartaza

Props making and stage setting for the last two weeks before the concert really made me gone crazy, impatient and all sorts of the dark side of AZA! The colours of each day :

-morning before entering hall to do props : orange + red

- hall+ making props : Black

But, there was one day that I jumped and jumped like a small girl when i received a fax from Uni. Teknologi Malaysia saying that : PENCALONAN ANUGERAH NAIB CANSELOR (AKADEMIK). What ? I'm one of the candidates for the highest award in the Uni? seriously I was extemely happy. Eventhough I am a Dean's List for 8 semesters, to me, to be nominated to receive this award also was like ...an honour. whether i win or not ...let see this September! Finally , after struggling for five years as a part time student , i got my second degree in Science and Computer with Education ( major in Maths). My final semester / exam GPA : 4.00 !!!! All As maa!!! CGPA : 3.8 why ? weak in memorizing all the theories and philosophies! ( yeah my worst subject : Philosophy of Education ! ) Yes, being a part time student, really taught me how to manage my time and sacrifice a lot, A LOT ! Weedays , as a teacher. Weekend , Sat ( 2pm -10 pm )and Sun , 8 am- 6pm as a student! Sien and siao !!!

Winning this award- is every uni student's dream!!!

so my face for dat lucky day

happyheartaza

FLOWER DRUM SONG - WMS CONCERT

I must say that the Concert was AWESOME! Why? I was sceptical when the school suggested to stage this musical movie coz for someone like me , I want something like "FAME" or "GREASE" ... I mengantuk / was sleeping/ dreaming while watching the DVD..seriously... and have to replay/ rewind ( more than five times! ). I was like OMG!!!! I like the storyline , the values in the story but there's something missing ! BORING! and the next day I asked my friends " hey , who's gonna sing or dance 'Chop Suey!!!??? Dont make me fall asleep AGAIN!!!" .

so after two months of practice and practice and practice .... FDS of WMS was really AWESOME!!!Much better than the DVD! even the Chop Suey Song was amazing! Everything turned out very well. Kudos to all teachers and students.

Someone asked me( cant remember who ) : "Celestial garden... so where is the garden?"

me : hey like Ampang Park, got park meh?
worst posing ever!!!

Props, stage setting and Backstage Crew :

***thanks a lot and luvs a lot for helping me :

Apple, Dyan, EngSeng, ZiYang, Benjamin, GuiMing, KhaiYuen ( for three years helping me),KhaiMeng,Chun Kit, Danny, YongHui, Stan, Kheng Yew, Gary, Lynna, Yen Jin, Kee Yee, Woei Cong, Khai Seng, Charn Wah, Zhe Chung, Yeow Wha, Shaneal.

Am so sorry if I hurt you ( sure got! ) . With all the 'tastes' that 'blended' together : bitter, sweet sour and 'ma chi' ( hahaha) , I appreciate all the single thing, the hardwork, effort, patient and care that you all did/gave.

I know I gave them this ' angry face' for the last two weeks